Fire Energy Can Be Destructive...or Transformational

Wow, the fire energy on the planet this month of July has been pretty intense!  Not only can we see it physically with the recent wild fires in the Midwest, in the increased frequency of solar flares, and the long days of hot, dry weather but we can feel it in our own energy and with those around us.  

I was talking with a friend of mine the other day who owns property in Colorado, very close to the wild fires, and I asked her what, if anything, can be done to keep her property safe.  Her response was, "Just pray for Mother Earth to help".  So I said, "Oh, you mean pray for rain?" and she said, "No, not water but earth.  Wild fires are put out by throwing dirt on the flames, not water."

I never knew that!  Growing up on the east coast, we don't see too many big wild fires like that so it was a good lesson for me.  Thinking of it in energetic terms, earth energy, which is grounding and stable, is what is best for balancing fire energy, not water.

After months of feeling lost and confused with what to do with my book, I woke up one morning and decided to put it on Amazon/Kindle and get it out in the world!  This was a big step, and pretty scarey, since I was used to keeping my book very contained to a small group of people.  But I couldn't ignore the fire energy that was available to me and I had to act on it right away.  

So I used the fire energy to instigate transformation with my book but then felt nervous and anxious about it being "out there" for everyone to see.  Taking into account the recent lesson I learned from my friend about how wild fires are squelched, I decided to calm myself with whatever earth energy I could get my hands on...I carried a few small rocks in my pocket, walked in the woods, and ate foods that came from the earth (root vegetables, rice, etc.).

It helped me so much to feel better.  I am more grounded and centered within myself than I've been for a long time.  So I will keep up this fire/earth energy balancing for as long as it feels right.  And then, who knows? Maybe I'll need some water energy to cleanse and nourish the earth.

Surrender who you think you should become

For the last several years, I've always had a vision board on the wall above my desk.  Vision boards are collages that you create on posterboard and hang on a wall to remind you of your goals and dreams.  You cut out photos from magazines and words or phrases that are important to you.

The idea of a vision board is that you look at it every day and subconsciously you see yourself in that role, living the life of your dreams, until it becomes reality.  The idea was popularized in the book and DVD The Secret by Rhonda Byrnes.

I was updating my vision board about once a year and found it very helpful in staying on task with the direction of my life.  But a few weeks ago my vision board fell off the wall (it was attached with poster putty).  I thought it was strange since the weather was not particularly humid and there were no windows open so I reapplied the poster putty and hung it back on the wall.  Two days later it fell again.

Hmmmm, I think the Universe was trying to tell me something.  I had no idea what it was all about so I stored it away in the back of my mind for a few days.  Then I had a very sad day where everything I thought was important to me just went away.  I received a disappointing email, a letter rejecting one of my speaker proposals, and didn't get the support I had hoped for to publicize The Autism Spirit.  

It was a long and very healing conversation with my good friend that finally put it all together for me.  She very simply said, "surrender who you thought you should become".  The words struck me right in the heart as I thought of very image and label on my vision board which screamed, "this is who you should be!"  OMG, if I can't be who I thought I should be, then who am I?

Just the awareness of how much pressure I had put on myself to be HER, that woman who fulfills all the roles she's supposed to with ease and grace, had allowed the responsibility to lift from my shoulders.  A sense of relief washed over me, filling me with the ease and grace I had worked so hard to "achieve" through my actions.  And there it was, already within me, requiring no action on my part whatsoever.

Now I am not trying to become HER, I know that I already am.

It's Okay To Feel The Feeling

I've been continuing to clear out any unwanted feelings in me like anger, resentment, jealousy and started to worry that allowing myself to feel the feelings might attract more of them.  I believe in the Law of Attraction, which basically says "you get what you think about whether you want it or not" and wasn't sure exactly what I was attracting to me.  

Then the answer came, allowing me a gush of relief, in the words of Marianne Williamson, "an emotion is not dangerous until it's disowned, for that's when it commonly gets projected onto others and/or compressed into your own flesh".  

Wow, it doesn't get much clearer than that.  And that's one of the reasons why I like to read her books.  She writes in very practical, down-to-earth language.  Either own it and let it go or it will remain in your body, eventually taking physical form as illness, weight change or disease.

I guess there's nothing wrong with getting angry, it's when we stay angry that causes the trouble.  So I'll continue to pay attention to those little triggers in my emotional system that tell me it's time to pay attention to this issue, then I can release it.  One thing I do know, the payoff to doing this internal work is priceless.  I have never felt such bliss as when my heart lets go of old, negative energy. 

Goodbye, Miss Avenger

After spending the last several years releasing energy that doesn't serve me anymore (fear, anger, etc.) I thought I was in pretty good shape by now, but no.  I'm feeling a lot changing within me this week and decided to just check in and meditate the other day to see if there's something coming up that needs to be cleared.

Well, I got more than I bargained for.  I had been getting annoyed and bugged by little things lately so I decided to start with that and see where it goes.  Within a few minutes I started getting flashbacks of every person who ever wronged me in one way or another.  I saw every mean person, every betrayal, every person who dissed me, tried to control me, or just didn't like me for whatever reason.

Suddenly, Miss Avenger showed up.  She was my shadow self, the persona that wanted revenge on every person who was mean to me or hurt me.  I pictured her in a sexy cat suit like Jessica Alba in Dark Angel facing each person one by one and saying all the things I wanted to say at the time.  Then she decided how to take her revenge.  The punishment should fit the crime.. so some people got a slap in the face, some were punched or kicked, and some just told off in colorful language.  (This all happened in my imagination, I didn't hurt anyone.  It was my system releasing all that negativity.)

Even though Miss Avenger was sexy, I clearly saw how ugly she got when the rage erupted within me.  I couldn't believe it had been stored within me all these years (I'm 41 now) and so many incidents that I had forgotten felt like it was happening again in that instant.  The intense rage lasted for about 20-30 minutes and then it was done.  I was exhausted but completely cleared of all that toxic anger that was stored within me.

Finally, as Miss Avenger stood in front of me, I thanked her for protecting me all those years and said I didn't need her anymore.  Then she drifted off into the light, waving goodbye. 

The Autism Spirit: Pathways to Connection through the Heart

For parents and caregivers of those on the autism spectrum and related disorders:

Meet me at the EMARC Family Center in Reading, MA on Monday, September 26th at 7:00 PM!

The autism community is flooded with information about the science and behavioral aspects of this prevalent disorder but there’s something missing.  The Autism Spirit fills the gap and brings a new aspect to a deeper, more loving connection with the autistic person in your life.

In this presentation, you’ll learn:

• ·               Why it’s important to have a deeper connection with your loved one
• ·               Easy ways to understand what’s behind autistic behaviors
• ·               How to create pathways for communication that go beyond verbal or written words
• ·               The most important thing that your child with autism is here to teach YOU!

You’ll leave with practical tools that you can implement right away!

Tickets are $20 prepaid online at www.LeaMHill.com/Events or $25 at the door. 

*The Autism Spirit is open to those of all spiritual and religious practices and beliefs.  The information presented is in no way meant to be a substitute for traditional therapies and treatment for autism. The information provided does not constitute legal, psychological, medical, business, or financial advice. The attendee assumes responsibility for all of his/her own choices and/or actions.